"The joy of life and its affairs of happiness digress into a pain of lost height. So, in all happiness there is sadness. That of a depressed state of losing, a time which no enjoyment can fervour the full amount because of the hidden realization of drowning in the opposites." - Hilliary Heard
Constancy.
I strive for consistency and endurance but the ever salient reality is that life changes. Adaptation is the easy part. Learning to accept the adaptation is whats difficult. Control is a wonderful thing and whilst its complete loss and lack of responsibility can be momentarily rousing, it is equally daunting.
"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defences, you build up a whole suit of armour, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love." - Neil Gaiman
Its fantastic.
For all my depressive musings here, I feel alive.